I got 271 in PSLE. End of story. Of course i was freaking happy, who wouldn't be?! Just currently weathering the cons that come with a high aggregate score. I still can remember when my name was flashed on the screen... I was like thinking, "If my name was up there I'd be freaking happy. But nah, that won't happen." I was just expecting Shiqi or Aloysius or Jian Kai to get first, then was talking to Pei Yi or someone about sth I can't remember... then suddenly someone(s) started screaming: "Oh my god Yu Ying it's you!!!" I screamed. I think I've gotten into the habit of screaming. I tried duplicating my scream just now, one very high pitched and loud "Oh my god!!" Yes, it was loud. Very loud. I was the only one who shrieked, I think... I started regretting not paying attention to others because i had no idea what to do. Just ran up and collected the certificate. Gripped Kah Leng's hand on the way back, and she seemed genuinely happy for me. Not like someone... Enough about her though.
I was hysterical then but now, not so much. Everything has its pros and cons, right? Right now I'm living the 130% curse and 11% cause of high expectations. 130% blessing shall come later. Some things happened... dampened my mood even further... I can't comfort anyone; my marks are too high, they'll get even more self-pitied. And I can't very well go around reminding people of what they're missing out on, can I? Honestly, I'm just satisfied if I can get 267 and give away my 4 points to someone who deserves it more... and I get into Nanyang, what else do I need? Well I shouldn't be thinking like this, I guess... I just can't help it. Yesh I know I'm sounding like an ungrateful brat, but... noone's ever satisfied with their lot, are they? It's always 'I want this...' 'Ooh no, I want that'. Being contented is the closest we can ever get to satisfied... you may think they're the same. The dictionary may tell you so. But seriously, they're not. Not at all. Life can't be defined with a dictionary, can it?
Well, not when you're not acting smart that is.
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